


Incorrect lanterns

by Jadabeez



Category: DC Comics, Green Lantern - Fandom
Genre: DC comics - Freeform, Green Lantern Corps - Freeform, Incorrect Quotes, Multi, Other, incorrect dc quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25523407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadabeez/pseuds/Jadabeez
Summary: incorrect quotes featuring various lantern characters!
Kudos: 23





	1. incorrect quotes (1)

John Stewart: Before you say anything......  
Hal Jordan: ....  
Hal Jordan: *Raises eyebrows*  
John Stewart:.....that's it. We just dont want you to say anything.  
(The good place)

Alan Scott: What kind of tea is this?  
Kyle Rayner: Oh, i boiled some gatorade.  
(The office)

Hal Jordan: From now on, we'll be using code names, you can address me as "Eagle one"  
Hal Jordan: Guy, code name: "Been there, done that."  
Hal Jordan: Simon, "It happened once in a dream"  
Hal Jordan: Jessica, code name: "If i had to pick a dude"  
Hal Jordan: John is....."Eagle Two"  
John Stewart: Oh thank god.  
(Parks and rec) 

Carol Feris: Do you want me to seduce the red lanterns?  
Kyle Rayner: How would that help?  
Carol Feris: I dont know. I just want to see if i could do it.  
(Parks and recs)

Sinestro: Well, if it isnt hal jordan.  
Hal Jordan: But it is me.  
Sinestro: No, its an expression-  
Hal Jordan: Your villain tricks won't work on me.  
(Vine)

Kilowog, trying to rember earthling holidays: Happy Crimas.....it chrimam....merry chrisus.....merry chrysler......  
(Vine)

Kyle Rayner: Jess.....what are you doing in the bathroom?  
Jessica Cruz: Crying my eyes out.  
Kyle Rayner: Well, hurry up. I gotta cry too.  
(Spongebob squarepants)


	2. Chapter 2

Alan scott: hello people who don't live here  
Jessica cruz: hi!  
Kyle rayner: hi  
Hal jordan: hey.  
Guy gardner: hello!  
John stewart: hello.  
Alan scott: I gave you guys keys for emergencies!  
Hal jordan: we ran out of Doritos  
(Friends)

Kyle rayner: shake it.  
Guy gardner: *shimmies*  
Kyle rayner: the container, guy!  
(Modern family)

Hal jordan:guys, I have a bad idea.  
Kyle rayner: what kind of bad idea?  
Kilowog: I'd prefer a good idea  
(We bare bears)

Guy gardner: hello? Police? There's an insanely good looking man in my house.....wait a second....cancel that,it's only my reflection!  
(Johnny bravo)

John stewart: so, how old are you? Three?  
tai pham: I'm 12......  
John stewart: cool. I don't know anything about kids.  
(The good place)

Sinistro: ah, John stewart. My arch nemesis!  
Hal jordan: I thought I was your arch nemesis?  
Sinistro: not everything is about you jordan!  
(Simpson)


	3. Chapter 3

Kilowog: *points at the broken coffee machine* So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, i just wanna know.   
Jessica Cruz:....i did. I broke it.  
Kilowog: No. No you didnt. Jordan?  
Hal Jordan: Dont look at me. Look at guy!"  
Guy gardner: What? I didnt break it.  
Hal Jordan: Huh, weird. How'd you even know it was broken?  
Guy Gardner: Because its sitting right in front of us and its broken.  
Hal Jordan: Suspicious......  
Guy Gardner: No, its not!  
Simon baz: If it matters, probably not, but Kyle was the last one to use it.  
Kyle rayner: Liar! I dont even drink that crap!  
Simon baz: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart cart earlier?  
Kyle rayner: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Simon!  
Jessica cruz: Okay lets not fight! I broke it! Let mepay for it, Kilowog!  
Kilowog: No. Who broke it!?  
Guy Gardner: Kilowog....Johns been awfully quiet......  
John Stewart: Really!?  
(Everyone starts argueing)  
Kilowog, to Tomar-re: I broke it. I burned my hand so i punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each others throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head in a stick.  
(Parks and rec)

Hal Jordan, to any rookie lantern: When you've worked in the green lantern corps for this long, you develop thick skin!  
Guy Gardner, from a distance: Green is not your color!  
Hal Jordan: Green brings out my eyes you prick!  
(Vine)

Saint Walker: I have edge.  
Kilowog: You really dont. You are literally the most wide-eyed person ive ever seen. you have the face of a cartoon lamb.  
(Modern family)

Carol Ferris, filming guy and kyle: Two bros, chillin'n in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they're not gay!  
(Vine)

Keli Quintela: Mr. Jordan, look, its the good kush!  
Hal Jordan: This is the dollar store, howgood can it be??  
(Vine)


	4. Chapter 4

Hal Jordan, about the green lantern corps: My team mates are all very passionate heroes, who care about saving the universe they're a part of. so when im being yelled at, what i hear is them caring very loudly.....at me.  
(Parks and source)

Hal Jordan: Youre blocking the view.  
Guy Gardner: i AM the view  
(Keeping up with the kardashians)

John Stewart: So, whats the plan?  
Kyle Rayner: I told you the plan. You didnt like the plan/  
(Lizzie mcguire)

Hal Jordan: It never hurts to help!  
John Stewart: Do you realise how many times you say that before we actually get hurt?  
(Wander over yonder)

Larfleez: I like stealing. It makes my heart go fast.  
(modern family)

an incont alien: Have mercy....please!  
atrocitus: I dont have mercy.  
(star wars)

Jessica Ceuz: I brought reinforcements!  
John Stewart: You brought Kilowog?  
Jessica Cruz: Umm.....no, but, ii brought the next best thing.  
Hal Jordan: Hey!  
John Stewart: Hal? You brought hal? The next best thing would have been Ch'p!  
Hal Jordan: Normally i'd be offended, but he is freakishly stroung.....  
(Friends)

Hal Jordan: You always see the worst in others.  
Sinistro: Yeah, because others are the worst.  
(New girl)

John Stewart: Just give up before you embarrass yourself.  
Guy Gardner: Oh, no,i never give up before i embarras myself  
(Drake and Josh)


	5. Chapter 5

Saint walker: Have a good day!  
Guy Gardner: Dont tell me what to do.  
(drake and josh)

Guy Gardner: Are you calling me an liar?  
Kyle Rayner: I aint callin' you a truther!  
(drake and josh)

Sinistro, during the end of his green lantern days: I'm over this dumbass lantern corps with all these fake ass people......  
Hal Jordan, during his rookie green lantern days, walking by: Hi!  
Sinistro: Hi!  
Sinistro, mumbling to himself: Fucking bitch......

Jessica Cruz: Your smiling......did something good happen?  
Guy Gardner: Cant i smile because i feel like it?  
John Stewart: Hal tripped and fell over.  
(powerpuff girls)

John Stewart: Do you like hal?  
Carol Ferris: Sure, who dosnt?  
John Stewart: Over half the people that meet him.  
(Community)

saint walker, whos trying to explain larfleez: Its not that he's "Evil".....he just lacks empathy and goes dissociative state and commits atrocities.....  
(Sturday night live)


	6. Chapter 6

Hal Jordan: You look pretty today, Carol!  
Carol Ferris: Thank you. I was thinking the same thing myself.  
(Will and Grace)

Arkillo: Hey, hal jordan is here.....  
Sinistro: Ok, I'll call the exterminator.  
(Drake and josh)

John Stewart: Can you not stand so close? Youre making me claustrophobic.  
Tai Pham: What does "Claustrophobic" mean?  
Keli quintela: It means he's afraid of santa claus!  
John Stewart: No, it dosnt  
Tai Pham: Ho! Ho! Ho!  
Keli Quintela: Stop it, Tai, your scaring him!  
(Spongebob squarepants)


	7. Chapter 7

John Stewart. angry: You rank the corps by their appearance?  
Hal Jordan: Calmdown, twelve.  
(Scrubs)

Kyle Rayner: I'm depressed. I need a cookie.  
(Golden girs)

*Call coming in*  
Simon Baz: You wanna get that?  
Jessica Cruz: And interact with people? No, thanks.  
(Good luck charlie)

John Stewart: This is a bad idea. Have you heard of karma?  
Hal Jordan: Yeah! Its my favorite topping on a sundae  
John Stewart:......Not caramel, Hal.  
(jessie)

Kyle Rayner: I'm totally gonna sacrifice myself for our mission.  
Guy Gardner: Oh, and then i can hunt down your attackers and avenge your death.  
Kyle Rayner: Awww, thats sweet.  
(Ducktales)

Hal Jordan: Come on, Guy, I'm your hottest friend!  
Hal: Wait, no, thats John. I'm your nicest friend!  
Hal: No, that's Jessica.  
Hal: Im your friend!  
(the good place)


	8. Chapter 8

Jessica Cruz: Why should someone want to harm hal?  
Guy Gardner: Maybe because they met them?  
(buffy the vampire slayer)

Hal Jordan: I just had a thought.  
Kilowog: I'll buy you a card to commemorate the moment.  
(animorphs)

Saint Walker: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!  
Arkillo: Please, just say fuck.  
(Source:???)

Guy Gardner: What's the worst that could happen?  
Simon baz: Being locked in a room with you for a week.  
(The real ghostbusters)

Kyle Rayner: John, youre such a genius!  
John Stewart: Yes, i know.  
(The real ghostbusters)

Hal Jordan: The real treasure is the friends we mde along the way.  
Larfleez: No, I want my fucking gold.  
(Buzzfeed)

Sinistro: I want to change the world.  
Hal Jordan: For the better?  
Sinistro: ....  
Hal: ....  
Sinistro: (Starts sweating)  
Hal: Answer me, sinistro.  
(Mr. lovenstien)

Guy Gardner: Yo dumbass, get over here.  
Hal Jordan: Okay-  
Kyle Rayner: (gleefully flys past hal) I'm coming!  
Hal, thinks sadly: I thought.....i was dumbass  
(Vine)

Jo mullein: You have the right to remain silent.  
Bleez: I choose to waive that right!  
Bleez: *Starts screaming*  
(The simpsons)

Kyle Rayner: What if "It's raining men" and "Let the bodies hit the floor" are both about the sme event, but from different perspectives?  
John Stewart: I'm litarally begging you to stop.  
(Tumblr)


	9. Chapter 9

Atrocitus: I'm in a bad moodand somebody is going to suffer.  
(Fresh prince of bel air)

John Stewart: Love makes people dostupid things.  
Hal Jordan: I love everthing!  
John Stewart: That explains a lot.  
(the grim adventures of billy and mandy)

John Stewart to Simon baz: And if you see Hal, give him this message.  
John: *Makes a neutral face*  
John: He'll know what it means.  
*Later*  
Simon baz: Oh, and John said to give you a message.  
Simon: *Gives a neutral face*  
Hal Jordan:: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.  
(Fresh off the boat)

Sinistro: Shut your mouth, you mediocre Green lantern.  
Hal Jordan:*teary-eyed* Medicore?  
(Spongebob squarepants)

Simon Baz: What are we gonna do?  
Jessica Cruz: I dont know. Maybe waffles?  
Simon baz: ....  
Jessica cruz: ....  
Simon baz: About thoose red lanterns over there, jess.  
(Friends)

Kilowog: I cant believe you would do something this stupid!  
Hal Jordan: Kilowog, i think we all believe i could do something this stupid.  
(Wizards of waverly place)

John Stewart to Hal Jordan: I organized your messages into three categories. "Love Carol", "Death threats", and "Death threats from carol"  
(Icarly)


	10. Chapter 10

Guy Gardner: Your existence is confusing.  
Kyle Rayner: .....OK?  
Guy Gardner: See, your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.  
(Tumblr)

Alan scott: Look, you didnt ask for my opinion, but im old, so im giving it away anway.  
(Golden girls)

Larfleez: A five letter word for happiness? M-O-N-E-Y!  
(Spongebob squarepants)

Hal Jordan: I feel strange, upset, bi-curious, angry.....  
John Stewart: Wait....what was that last part?  
Hal Jordan: What? Angry?  
(Game Grumps)

Simon Baz: I think you like me.  
Jessica Cruz: What part of the look on my face gives you that impression?  
(Lucifer)

Saint Walker, whos being carried by kilowog: Do i even weigh anything to you?  
Kilowog: No, Its like holding a couple of grapes.  
(Brooklyn 99)

Alan Scott: The older you get, the better you get.  
Kyle Rayner: Unless youre a banana  
(Golden Girls)


	11. Chapter 11

Arkillo: Someone well die....  
Saint walker: Of fun!  
(Parks and recs)

Hal Jordan: I feel like im forgetting something.....  
Guy Gardner: pff....your mental stability?  
Hal Jordan" No, no, you cant lose something you never had.....  
Guy Gardner: Wait, what-  
(Ink and error say a lot)

John stewart: Hey, is anyone else d-  
Hal Jordan: Dead?  
Guy Gardner: Drained?  
Jessica Cruz: Depressed?  
Kyle Rayner: Deprived of sleep.  
John Stewart: ......Done wth your work? What is wrong with you people?  
(Tumblr)

Sinistro: The stroung must rule the weak. They well fall.  
Kyle Rayner: Wow. Thats, like, classic evil ranting.  
(Kung fu panda)

Jo Mullien: You've built a ring?  
Keli Quintela: What, like its hard?  
(Legally blonde)

Guy Gardner: Dont you ever say anything encouragine?  
John Stewart: Well, i'd encourage you not to die!  
(Kubo and the two strings)


	12. Chapter 12

Hal Jordan: Now go away. I need my 23 hours of beauty sleep.  
Guy Gardner: Might wanna shoot for 24.  
(Fosters home for imaginary friends)

John Stewart: What's your best quality?  
Hal Jordan: Just one? Thats ridiculous! I have 900 amazing qualities!  
(Zoey 101)

Kilowog: You may hug me for 4 to 5 seconds.  
Hal Jordan: Forty five seconds?  
Kilowog: NO. Four TO five seconds.  
Hal Jordan: Too late!  
(Source: ???)

Kyle Rayner: I can make literally anything sound positive!  
Jessica Cruz: Your house just burned down and you lost all your money the stock market.  
Kyle Rayner: Its a chance to start over! fire is cleansing and true wealth is measure by the amount of love in your life.  
(Parks and recs)

John Stewart: Dont you have to be stupid somewhere else?  
Guy Gardner: Not until 4~

Tomar-ra: What state are you in?  
Jessica cruz: Constant anxiety  
Simon Baz: Denial  
Guy Gardner: Perfection  
Kyle rayner:......New york?  
(Tumblr)

John Stewart: What are the hardest things to say  
Guy Gardner: I was wrong  
Jessica cruz: I need help  
Hal Jordan: Worcestershire sauce  
(????)

Kyle Rayner: John? Could i get some dating advice?  
John Stewart: Hey, just because im with hawkgirl, dosnt mean i know how i did it.  
(One day at a time)


	13. Chapter 13

Kilowog: You have to pick your battles.  
John Stewart: One of our battles that we picked was stopping Kyle and Guy runing plastic tubes all over OA and placing hamsters inside of them  
Kilowog: They were gonna call it tube city.  
(The office)

Carol Farris: This is a mistake  
Hal Jordan: A mistake we're gonna laugh about one day  
Carol Farris: But not today.  
Hal Jordan: Oh no, today's gonna be a mess  
(Super store)

John Stewart: Alright everyone we will meet here in one hour, sync your watches.  
Hal Jordan" Mine dosnt do that.  
Kyle Rayner: I dont wear a watch  
Jessica Cruz: Time is a construct.

Jessica cruz: What's the frist thing you notice when a man approaches you?  
Carol Farris: The audacity  
(Brooklyn nine nine)

Jessica cruz: My vibe is like, you could pour hot soup in my lap and i would probably apologize to you.  
(John Mulaney)

Simon Baz: Is anyone else scared?  
Hal Jordan: Not really. i've already lived longer than i expected.  
(Pitch perfect)


End file.
